Chris Evans breakfast show, Radio 1
fall 1996

transcribed by me

Chris talking to Angus Deayton:
Chris: Are you in bed at the moment?
Angus: Yeah, I am.
Chris: That big lovely French bed of yours?
Angus: You're sharing just too much inside knowledge, Chris.
Chris: Would you do me a favor? Cause, look, are my palms sweating down? Are my palms sweating. [someone in the studio says "yes"] I don't want you to hear my Yasmin Le Bon interview because you make me nervous.
Angus: Well, how do you know I'm not going to tune back in to your program as soon as you put the phone down?
Chris: Because I'm not going to put the phone down. I'm going to stay talking to you till nine o'clock. Yasmin?
Yasmin: I love a three-way conversation.
Chris: Yasmin, have you ever met Angus Deayton?
Yasmin: No, but I know he's got a big French bed.
Chris: He's got a huge French bed.
Yasmin: That's what they all say!
Angus: With an enormous canopy.
Chris: Angus, could you hang on there?
Yasmin, to Angus: Have you got a canopy?
Angus: Yeah.
Yasmin: Wow.
Chris: It's lovely. Yasmin, could you do me a favor?
Yasmin: Mmmm?
Chris: Could you come on back on the show tomorrow? Cause I've got to hang on the phone for 15 minutes to Angus Deayton to make sure he doesn't hear the rest of the show.
Yasmin: Oh, he's such a clonker! Angus, get off!
Chris: No, Angus is gonna stay on because he might re-tune in and make me nervous during the interview.
Angus: This is paranoia reaching ridiculous levels.
Yasmin: I've got a phone phobia! You'll never get me back tomorrow.
Chris: You've got a what?
Yasmin: I've got a phone phobia.
Chris: A phone phobia?
Yasmin: Yeah.
Chris: Have you really?
Yasmin: Actually, you know you're lucky because maybe my baby will sit on the phone or something now.
Chris: Angus, what's (the radio station they were talking about earlier in the conversation) doing now?
Angus: I've switched over to you again. [Groans and laughs from the studio]
Chris: But you don't need to switch over to me because I'm doing it...
Yasmin: I'm stuck on the M4, it was stimulating.
Angus: They're playing Squeeze.
Chris: Could we have a listen to Squeeze?
Yasmin: Oh yeah, I like Squeeze.
[radio plays song]
Chris: Oh yeah, you've got to stick with that.
Yasmin: Yeah.
Chris: It's better than this claptrap. Angus, I've got to go.
Angus: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Chris: Tune out.
Angus: I can't believe that. I'm so crestfallen.
Chris: Will you tune out?
Angus: Yes, okay, I'll go and listen to Squeeze.
Chris: All right.
Angus: All right.
Chris: Goodbye.
Angus: Goodbye.
Chris: I get too nervous, I can't do it when my friends are listening. You still there, Yasmin?
Yasmin: I'm still here, yes!
Chris: Okay, we'll do your bit now. Before we talk to Yasmin Le Bon, here's the man from the BBC with more information about her...
Announcer: Yes, the delightful Yasmin Le Bon, nicknamed the queen of green, she drives a gray Saab and supports the Reds, that's Liverpool. As a child she preferred playing football than playing with dolls, oh-ho! She says the hardest part of being a model is having to constantly smile. She started modeling at 17, appeared on the front cover of British Elle at the age of 19, she loves expensive underwear and chocolate, hopefully at the same time. And she is currently promoting the awareness of breast cancer. Here she is, the divine Yasmin Le Bon! [trumpet music]
Chris: Yasmin Le Bon is now live from our studio with the full five-star showbiz introduction!  Morning, Yasmin!
Yasmin: Good morning! Where did all that come from?
Chris: That's better, isn't it? You see, we can do all this cause we research it. Cause we work for a living. Because we get paid so much money, you don't want to know about it.
Yasmin: Yeah, but you get it wrong!
Chris: Why?
Yasmin: You get it wrong every morning!
Chris: Of course we do! It wouldn't be the same if we got it right, would it?
Yasmin: No, no. But you know what? Who cares.
Chris: What did we get wrong? Tell us, Yasmin.
Yasmin: Oh... it's always the age thing.
Chris: The age thing.
Yasmin: Mmmm.
Chris: How old are you, 17?
Yasmin: Oh, right. Yeah, I'm still 17.
Chris: Okay.
Yasmin: Yeah.
Chris: You've been to America with your family.
Yasmin: Mhmmm.
Chris: Okay, cause you were due to appear on our TV show. Right. A couple of weeks ago.  Do you remember?
Yasmin: [sounding evasive] Yeeeeesss. [laughs]
Chris: And we got a phone call on the Thursday. Yasmin doesn't want to come back off holiday; she's staying over there. We said, oh, well that's bully for Yasmin!
Yasmin: Yeah.
Chris: But apparently that was so unlike you, but you were having such a good time, and they said...
Yasmin: Very unlike me, I know. And I can be a bit difficult to get hold of.
Chris: Yeah, but they said you weren't being difficult. Basically what they said was, she's reached a new crescendo in her life. She's so happy at the moment, her family comes first and that is that, and this is the first time she's done this, but you can't argue with that! She's putting the kids and the husband first! Is that what you were doing?
Yasmin: I was, yeah.
Chris: And what did you do in America, then?
Yasmin: Oh, just, you know, hanging out. Playing Barbie dolls. [giggles]
Chris: In America?
Yasmin: In America, yeah!
Chris: That's cool.
Yasmin: Yeah, they're cool, my kids. They just like to sit and play Barbie dolls.
Chris: Does Simon play with the Barbie dolls?
Yasmin: Of course he does!
Chris: Does he?
Yasmin: Yeah. He's really good with Barbie dolls. [giggles]
Chris: Oh, you start talking like that!
Yasmin: Ohh!
Chris: I've been told that you said you can smoke, you can drink, you can party as much as you like, but lack of sleep makes you old.
Yasmin: Hmm. Did I say that?
Chris: That was very profound. Is that true? Did you say that?
Yasmin: [after a short hesitation] Yeah! Yeah, I think it's pretty true actually.
Chris: Do you like to smoke and drink?
Yasmin: Ahmmm... in moderation.
Chris: And party?
Yasmin: Everything in moderation.
Chris: It doesn't say that here, it says you can smoke and drink and party as much as you like! [Yasmin laughs hysterically] Not in moderation!
Yasmin: It depends if you've got to work the next day.
Chris: Okay. Are you working at the moment?
Yasmin: Not right at this moment.
Chris: Okay, you're promoting this breast cancer awareness thing.
Yasmin: That's right, yeah. Go out and you can buy a t-shirt.
Chris: Okay, and we've just got to be more aware of it.
Yasmin: Yeah, we've got to be more aware of it, but we've got to raise more money and build more research centers.
Chris: Okay, so be more aware of breast cancer, that's the message.
Yasmin: And buy the t-shirts!
Chris: Buy the t-shirts! How much are they, where are they?
Yasmin: I think they're about 8.99. And you can get them in most stores.
Chris: By the way, have I told you yet?
Yasmin: No, what?
Chris: You're gorgeous!
Yasmin: Ohhh. Oh Chris, I had a sneaking suspicion that you liked me.
Chris: I thought you was gonna say, "I had a sneaking suspicion that I was." [both laugh] "On account of the fact that I'm a supermodel and get paid thousands of pounds!" Hey, I like your new advert for the shampoo.
Yasmin: Do you?
Chris: You're great in it!
Yasmin: I can't believe it's my hair!
Chris: Lovely hair!
Yasmin: Amazing, huh?
Chris: Can you do the advert for us now? Cause you actually speak in it. Can you do the advert?
Yasmin: Oh, no, don't. No, really.
Chris: Oh, go on. Go on! Go on, Yasmin! Please! [she continues to protest that she doesn't want to do it, mostly inaudible over Chris's insistence] Do the thing with your hair on the phone!  Go on.
Yasmin: [laughs] [something] downstairs to do it.
Chris: Go on!
Yasmin: Oh, I can't now. Oh, okay, hold on. I think I can't remember a line! Cause they're so profound. They're so brilliant, these words.
Chris: Just try.
Yasmin: Oh, um, what's a classic. Ahmm... oh, let me think. Oh. [pauses and then says dramatically] "Because feeling is believing." [everyone breaks out in laughter and applause] Was that sincere enough for you?
Chris: But how do you feel when you have to say a line like, "Because feeling is believing"?
Yasmin: I swear to God it sounds like another language. I mean, you stand there and you just look at it thinking, "Did-did-did they understand that? Cause I didn't understand that." You know? That's complete rubbish!
Chris: But when you saw the script, did you not ask for a rewrite of the script?
Yasmin: Yeah, but... [laughs] what can you do with it?
Chris: "But feeling is believing." Just say it again for us, Yasmin, please.
Yasmin: No, I can't.
Chris: But one more time! [entire studio chants "more!"; Yasmin refuses] Okay, all right, well, I've got this question about that line, because that is... okay, it's not the greatest line in the world, is it?
Yasmin: It's not, is it?
Chris: How much money does it cost to get you to say that on television?
Yasmin: Whoooah. [giggles]
Chris: It must be, what. So much money.
Yasmin: It's so much money that I did it.
Chris: Because feeling is believing. Gaby Roslin got a hundred thousand pounds to be the new Head & Shoulders girl.
Yasmin: Oh, good on her!
Chris: Did you get more than that?
Yasmin: Whoooah, I'm not saying anything. [giggles]
Chris: Did you or not? Simon!
Yasmin: You know, you're English. English people, they're just, all they're concerned about is what you do for a living and, ahh, how much you earn.
someone interrupts: Oh, Chris. [everyone laughs]
Yasmin: Oh, no. Cause he earns more than anybody else, right?
Chris: Well, umm, maybe. Simon, what did she get paid for it? [Yasmin laughs]
Yasmin: He's not telling either.
Chris: Oh, I dunno. Are you in Richmond?
Yasmin: No, I'm not, I'm in Putney, darling.
Chris: Are you?
Yasmin: Hmmm.
Chris: Has Simon got his fast motorbike still?
Yasmin: Yeah. He's got a couple of fast motorbikes.
Chris: Oh, I see. I once saw you at a gig, I think it was the Queen Anniver... the Memorial gig, and you both arrived in your leathers. [Yasmin laughs] It was great, Yasmin got off the back of Simon's motorbike, full leathers. Anyway, look, we've got to go...
Yasmin: I think I was pregnant then, darling. Did you notice?
Chris: You were pregnant.
Yasmin: I got this huge bump in front of me.
Chris: But you said about being pregnant, you said being pregnant can be one of the sexiest times in your life!
Yasmin: Hmmm. Not when you're trying to squeeze into one of those pairs of leathers. Not a bit attractive.
Chris: Why is being pregnant one of the sexiest times in your life? I've got the answer here.
Yasmin: Thank you. [laughs] Oh, is there a technical answer to it?
Chris: No, but you...
Yasmin: Well, forgive me, then. Because I didn't know anything about pregnancy.
Chris: You qualified it with a reason.
Yasmin: Did I?
Chris: Yeah.
Yasmin: God, you know more about me than I do!
Chris: I know.
Yasmin: Give me... tell me.
Chris: [whispers] Because it gives you big boobs. [everyone laughs]
Yasmin: Is that it? Just cause it gives you big boobs?  I thought you had increased sex drive when you're pregnant.
Chris: Simon! Is it better when she's pregnant?
Yasmin: More hormones. Yeah. What a difference! [laughs]
Simon joins the conversation: I'll tell you what. [everyone laughs] When Yasmin was pregnant, I got big boobs. [everyone laughs]
Chris: Did you have trouble squeezing into your motorbike outfit?
Yasmin: He does a lot in sympathy with me.
Chris: Okay. Well, we've got to go soon, but apparently Simon always asked for your thoughts on his new songs and you always give the true response. Is that true?
Yasmin: Of course it is!
Chris: You always tell him if it's not very good and you tell him if it's brilliant.
Yasmin: I tell him it's absolutely fantastic I love him and he's brilliant.
Chris: Okay, but if it's not good you tell him that too?
Yasmin: Yeah.
Simon: What do you mean, not good? [everyone laughs]
Yasmin: You're never not good!
someone off mike: If, if!
Chris: Ah, the truth is coming out! This is Relate here on Radio 1 everybody. Welcome to the show. So what's your favorite Duran Duran song?
Yasmin: Um, my favorite Duran Duran song is a song called "My Antarctica."
Chris: Oh, beautiful. Could you sing a bit now, Simon, for us?
Simon: Why don't you get Yasmin to sing it?
Chris: Go on, Yas.
Yasmin: Oh, no, don't! I'm not the singer.
Chris: Why don't we have a duet of Yasmin and Simon?
Simon: No way. You know how much you could charge for that?
Chris: That and the "feeling is believing."
Simon: You think a hundred grand for [something] of love, well... [everyone laughs]
Chris: Well, it's lovely to talk to you both. We're sorry for invading your privacy and thanks for coming on and being so nice about life.
Yasmin: Oh, you're a sweetheart. And get me on your next show!
Chris: Oh, we'll get you on the next show.
Yasmin: It'll be a miracle if you do, mind you.
Chris: Simon, how'd you feel about that?
Simon: What, getting Yasmin on the show?
Chris: Yeah.
Simon: I think it's a good idea, I was the one who told her to do it in the first place.
Chris: Would you come on the show?
Simon: I might do. You know me. I'm professional.
Chris: Well, we might have you on. [everyone laughs]
Yasmin: Oh, God.
Chris: In the meantime. Listen, the Le Bons, have a nice day!
Simon: And you too, mate.